So, back again for the Double Tap.

See what I did there.

The second installment on how Zombieland relates to your fat loss and fitness journey.

We left the 4 having smashed the Zombies at the theme park and going off into the distance to continue their life.

We meet them again and they are still surviving but we find other survivors in this one and we also find out about the Nirvana known as Babylon, the safe place to live (basically a hippy commune without the group sex).

As our 4 main characters have developed over time but so have the Zombies, we still have those rules, they are needed to survive this world of course, didn’t you read the first bit of waffle?

Anyway, we learn about the 4 types of zombies that live in the world.

Yes, 4 Types.

When they were telling us about them, I immediately recognised them for people you would see in the gym, or people on social media going on about their fitness life.

So, settle down and see if you recognise anyone you know from these 4 types.

If you do, I’ll put money on the fact you can’t look at them in the same way now.

Zombie types;

Type 1 – The Homer; named of course after Homer Simpson, you know, not all there, a little bit simple and gets distracted by something shiny. In the film these are the slow-moving ones that are a bit fat and laborious in their movement, they get distracted by stuff that is shiny and are pretty easy to kill.

Who are they in the gym?

Simple, they are those people that flip from one program to another without giving anything a real chance to kick in, trying one diet and then another. Always looking for that shiny thing that never really gets to the bottom of anything for them. Never really getting anywhere or achieving what they want but willing to drink some tea that will make them lose weight by weeing out of their bum.

Type 2 – The Hawkins; named after Stephen Hawkins, the smarter Zombie, the one that will work out a way to eat you even if you put up obstacles, they assess the situation and work out a way around it. I mean when it comes down to it, brains are needed to be eaten.

Who are they in the gym?

These are the people that get into the science behind it all, break down the nutrition, understand it, know about how their body reacts to certain exercises and certain foods, know what works for them and what doesn’t. They will also go find out stuff and learn about stuff they don’t know. The science geeks of the gym.

Type 3 – The Ninja; these Zombies are tough, they are the ones that sneak up on you and well, you know someone is there but before it is too late, your brains are breakfast. We all know how Ninjas move, sneaky little fuckers who just seem to appear out of nowhere and kill. Silent assassins who are brilliant at their job.

Who are they in the gym?

These are the people that turn up, do what they need to do, and go. Now this may shock some of you, but they don’t boast about how good their workout was, they don’t stick up a sweaty selfie on the gram or snappy chat. They don’t go around telling people what type of diet they are on; they just get on with it. I know fucking pyschos, if you don’t boast about it or tell people what you did in the gym, I mean did it really happen?

Type 4 – The T800; named after the infamous non-stop terminators in the Terminator series, we all know the series, the original coming back to kill Sarah Connor and stopping at nothing to try to kill her, then her son and so on and so on. There always seemed to be another one around the corner once the first one was melted or squashed. These Zombies are the hardest to kill, you can shoot them a lot and they just keep going, you quite literally have to smash their brains into bits to stop them from attempting to eat you.

Who are they in the gym?

These are the machines, the people that turn up, smash it, and will stop at nothing to achieve what they want to achieve. These are the people that enjoy it. The people that you throw anything at them, and they just adapt and push through it. There are no excuses for these people. They see excuses as weakness and just continue to push forward no matter what.

I can put money on the fact you are sat there thinking about those people in your gym who fit into one of those types, ideally, you will be a mix of Type2/3/4, the perfect mix, the person that wants to learn, goes about it silently but won’t let things get in the way of them achieving what they want to achieve.

Which one are you?

Anyway, don’t forget to get ready for when it happens, be strong, fit and don’t forget Rule #1 Cardio.

You need to be able to outrun those fuckers.

Spread the love people.