Being the other side of 50, I grew up in an era where we all had tribes and if you’re of a certain age, you’ll remember this.
The Goths.
The Metalheads.
The Ravers.
The Skaters.
The Hip Hop lot.
The Punks.
The Mods.
The Indie kids.
The Ska crowd.
Then you had the tribes where you had a mix because they all came together for sport.
You could walk into town on a Saturday and almost tell what music someone listened to before they’d even opened their mouth.
It was great, and it didn’t look like we just had a load of clones walking around.
Sometimes it could be tribal in all the wrong ways. You thought whatever tribe you were part of was the best, everyone took the piss out of everyone else, But underneath all that…
There was something really important happening.
People found out that they belonged.
We All Need A Tribe
Humans have always lived in groups.
It’s how we’ve survived.
For thousands of years belonging to a tribe wasn’t just nice.
It was essential.
If you were kicked out of the tribe…
You probably didn’t last very long.
Our brains haven’t forgotten that.
We still crave belonging.
We still want people who “get us.”
We still want somewhere we feel accepted.
The only thing that’s changed is where we look for it.
The Internet Filled The Gap
I’ve said this many times over the years, as we’ve become more connected digitally, we’ve actually become more disconnected personally.
However, people still go looking for tribes.
Only now they’re finding them online.
Sometimes that’s brilliant.
Sometimes it’s an absolute fucking nightmare (Manosphere type bullshit just for example).
You’ve got communities built around:
- conspiracy theories
- detoxes
- flat Earth
- carnivore evangelists
- anti-carb crusaders
- “seed oils are killing everyone”
- wellness influencers selling fear
Amongst many other random bullshit fear leading groups.
People don’t just buy into these ideas that are being pedalled..
They buy into the identity.
Because once you’re part of the tribe, questioning it feels like betraying your mates.
And that’s how good people end up believing some absolute bollocks.
Not because they’re stupid.
Because they wanted to belong.
Fitness Has Tribes Too
The fitness world is no different.
CrossFit.
Powerlifting.
Running clubs.
Bodybuilding.
Hyrox.
Yoga.
Pilates.
Strongman.
Nothing wrong with any of them.
In fact, they’re brilliant.
Because they’re about more than exercise.
They’re about people.
Now, just like the musical tribes you still have bellends in these tribes as well, I spoke about these gatekeepers a couple of months ago.
Turn up to the same place every week and something interesting happens.
You stop being “someone trying to get fit.”
You become part of a group.
People notice when you’re missing.
People celebrate your wins.
People tell you to stop being a miserable twat when you’re having a bad day..
Motivation Is Rubbish. Belonging Is Better.
I get asked by people especially when they first start out how to stay motivated.
But, I don’t think motivation is the answer.
I think belonging is.
Because when you belong somewhere…
You show up differently.
You don’t train because you feel motivated.
You train because your mates are expecting you.
You don’t quit because you’d be letting yourself down.
You’d also be letting your tribe down.
There’s a reason people find it easier to stick to things when someone else is involved.
Humans have always done better together.
Why The Den Has Never Just Been About A Gym
If you’ve been coming to The Den for any length of time, you’ll know this already.
We’ve never been obsessed with being the biggest gym.
Or having the fanciest equipment.
Or following the latest trend.
We’ve always cared more about the people.
It’s why people know your name.
Why someone notices if you’ve not been in.
Why people celebrate your PB like it’s their own.
Because that’s what tribes do.
They build each other up.
Why I’m Building The Unf*ck Your Fitness Collective
One of the biggest reasons I’m building the Unf*ck Your Fitness Collective is because not everyone can make it to the Fox Den in person.
I’d love them to.
But life gets in the way.
Different towns.
Different counties.
Different countries.
Shift work.
Kids.
Busy lives.
That shouldn’t mean they miss out on finding their tribe.
The Collective isn’t just another online workout library.
Fuck, there is enough of those already.
It’s about creating a place where people feel like they belong.
Where they can ask questions without feeling daft.
Where they get encouragement instead of judgement.
Where consistency is celebrated more than perfection.
Where people cheer each other on instead of competing over who has the fanciest smartwatch.
Because community shouldn’t stop at the gym door.
It should be available to anyone who wants to be part of it.
If you’d like to find out more:
Find Your People
If there’s one thing I’d encourage you to do, it’s this.
Find your tribe.
Find the people who make you better.
The ones who challenge you.
Who support you.
Who celebrate your wins.
Who tell you when you’re talking rubbish.
Who make turning up feel normal instead of difficult.
Because the right people don’t just change your fitness.
They change your life.
If you have that then brilliant, embrace it with both hands and never let it go.
Final Thought
We don’t need more motivation.
We need more belonging.
Because people rarely achieve brilliant things completely alone.
They find their tribe.
They keep turning up.
They lift each other up.
And before they know it…
They’ve become the sort of people they always hoped they could be.
So, go and find your tribe.
Help them.
Let them help you.
And together…
Become fucking brilliant.
Keep Smiling.
