I get asked sometimes:
“Are you happy?” I think it’s mostly because I have a resting face of someone that just wants to watch the world burn.
Honestly?
I don’t really know how to answer that anymore.
Not because life is bad. Far from it.
Not because things are falling apart. I mean we all have shit going on that we deal with.
But because I think we’ve been sold a strange idea about happiness.
That it’s supposed to be permanent.
That if you’re doing life “right”, you should constantly feel:
- fulfilled
- excited
- motivated
- inspired
- grateful
- glowing like someone who has just had their Ready Brek.
And if you’re not?
Then clearly something’s wrong.
But I think humans weren’t designed to feel happy all the time.
I think happiness was only ever meant to visit, make us feel all those things above then go leaving us with great memories that make us smile.
Happiness Is Fleeting
Think about the moments that genuinely make you happy.
Not fake Instagram happiness.
Real happiness.
It’s usually small stuff.
A pint in the sun.
Walking barefoot on sand.
A laugh with mates.
Music hitting at the right moment.
A dog deciding you’re suddenly its best friend.
Someone just holding your hand as you walk along.
A baby laughing at absolutely nothing.
Those moments are brilliant.
But they pass.
That’s the point.
Happiness comes and goes.
And somewhere along the line people started trying to turn temporary moments into permanent emotional states.
That’s where things start getting messy.
Chasing Happiness Is Exhausting
A lot of people spend their entire lives chasing this constant feeling of happiness.
New job.
New relationship.
New body.
New house.
New holiday.
New challenge.
Always searching for the next thing that’ll finally make them feel complete.
But what usually happens?
You get the thing…
And after a while it just becomes normal.
The feeling fades.
So, you start chasing again.
That is just fucking exhausting.
The Fitness Industry is Fucking Brilliant at Selling Happiness
The fitness industry absolutely loves this stuff too.
“Transform your life.”
“Become the best version of yourself.”
“Finally be happy in your body.”
Everything’s marketed like six weeks of training and a protein shake will suddenly unlock eternal joy.
And look — improving your health absolutely helps.
Training helps.
Movement helps.
Eating better helps.
Sleeping properly helps.
But none of those things magically remove sadness, stress, grief, anxiety, insecurity, or hard days.
You can be fit and still struggle.
You can be healthy and still feel lost sometimes.
And that’s perfectly normal.
Maybe Peace Matters More
The older I get, the more I think peace is probably the real goal. (The old hippy is coming back)
Not fireworks.
Not constant highs.
Just peace.
Peace is:
- waking up without immediately feeling behind in life
- being alone without feeling lonely
- not needing to prove yourself constantly
- no longer abandoning yourself just to keep everyone else comfortable
- Having people in your life because you want them in your life, not because you need them in your life.
That’s the stuff that actually changes your life.
Not fake motivation.
Not dopamine hits.
Just feeling steady in your own head.
Happiness Has an Evil Twin
The thing about happiness is…
It has a twin.
Sadness.
And eventually sadness turns up knocking on the door asking to be let in.
That’s life.
You don’t get one emotion without the other.
You don’t get joy without loss.
You don’t get excitement without disappointment.
You don’t get love without grief eventually touching it somewhere.
That’s part of being human.
And I think a lot of people struggle because they treat sadness like failure instead of something completely normal.
Peace Sits In The Middle
Peace is different.
Peace doesn’t scream for attention.
It’s quieter than happiness.
Less dramatic.
Less exciting maybe.
But steadier.
And honestly, steady is underrated.
Especially now.
Because the world feels loud all the time.
We have a thing in our hands that just are constantly screaming at us.
Everyone’s performing.
Everyone’s comparing.
Everyone’s chasing something.
Peace is stepping out of that for a minute.
And saying to yourself nah, I’m good.
What This Has To Do With Health & Fitness
Most people start fitness from a place of unhappiness.
They hate their body.
Hate photos of themselves
Hate how they feel.
Hate where they are.
And while that can get people moving initially…
It’s not a great long-term fuel source.
Because eventually you realise:
- there will always be someone leaner
- stronger
- fitter
- younger
If happiness depends entirely on reaching some perfect end point…
You’ll never quite get there.
But peace?
Peace can exist during the process.
Peace is:
- going for a walk because it clears your head
- training because it helps your mental health
- eating better because your body feels better
- moving because you respect yourself
Not punishment.
Not obsession.
Not trying to become “worthy”.
Just looking after yourself properly.
The Fox Den Version
At The Den, I don’t care about turning people into fitness robots chasing perfection.
Because that just doesn’t exist.
I care more about helping people feel:
- stronger
- calmer
- more capable than they thought they could ever be.
- more comfortable in themselves
That’s where real health is.
Not constantly standing in front of the mirror wondering if happiness is finally going to kick the door down because your abs showed up at 5am for a brief moment before you drink something and they vanish again.
Final Thought
Maybe happiness was never meant to stay.
Maybe it was always supposed to come in moments. Making you appreciate those moments more when they do show up.
And maybe the real goal isn’t chasing those highs every day…
Maybe it’s just reaching a point where:
Your mind feels quieter
Your body feels cared for
You finally feel safe being yourself
Not perfect.
Not ecstatic.
Just… at peace.
Keep Smiling.
