Growing Old Is A Privilege. Acting Old Is Optional.
There’s something pretty fucking cool about growing old.
It means you’re still fucking here.
Something we don’t appreciate nearly enough.
Not everybody gets the privilege of growing older.
Not everybody gets another birthday.
Another summer.
Another opportunity to do something they love.
However, somewhere along the way, we’ve developed this strange relationship with ageing.
We celebrate living longer while simultaneously dreading the idea of getting older.
We spend fortunes trying to look younger.
We complain about birthdays.
We joke about everything going downhill after 40.
Or 50.
Or 60.
Apparently, we peak at the age of 2, you know when you can have a proper tantrum and just shit your pants and no one cares, well so I’m told by a member of the Den this morning.
Gradually, almost without noticing, we start accepting that getting older means doing less.
Expecting less.
Trying less.
Living a slightly smaller life.
I think that’s a load of bollocks.
Getting Older And Becoming Old Aren’t Quite The Same Thing
We don’t get to choose everything about how we age.
Genetics matter.
Health conditions matter.
Injuries matter.
Disability matters.
Life circumstances matter.
Sometimes our bodies make decisions we’d rather they didn’t.
Nobody should be made to feel they’ve somehow failed at ageing because they’re dealing with something beyond their control.
But there’s a difference between acknowledging those realities and deciding that another birthday automatically means it’s time to start winding everything down.
Your age is a number. Your life is what you’re doing with it.
We can’t always control the first, we can often influence the second.
When Did We Decide We Were Too Old?
You would of heard it countless times.
“I’m too old to start lifting weights.”
“I’m too old to run.”
“I’m too old to join a gym.”
“I’m too old to try something like that.”
And my favourite…
“Well, at my age…”
Usually followed by a list of things somebody has already decided they can’t do.
Now, there are certainly activities that need adapting as we get older.
And there are things that may no longer be realistic for some people.
That’s life.
But there’s an enormous difference between adapting something and giving up on it altogether.
Can’t run comfortably anymore?
There is always walking, cycling or swimming which could work better.
Can’t lift what you used to?
Lift what you can now.
Need more recovery between sessions?
Take it.
Need to work around an injury?
Find a sensible way to do that.
The goal isn’t to pretend we’re all 25 forever.
Although a lot of us in our 40s/50s still think this way.
It’s to keep finding ways to participate in life rather than gradually withdrawing from it.
Your Body Needs A Reason To Stay Capable
Here’s where the training comes in.
As we age, we naturally experience changes in muscle mass, strength, power, bone health and aerobic capacity.
That’s biology.
But how physically active we remain can make a considerable difference to how those changes affect us.
And one of the biggest mistakes we make is treating physical decline as though it’s entirely inevitable and completely outside our influence.
It isn’t.
Resistance training can help maintain and improve strength.
Regular physical activity supports cardiovascular health.
Balance training can improve balance and reduce the risk of falls.
Weight-bearing and resistance exercise can support bone health.
And maintaining physical capacity can help us remain independent for longer.
That’s not some secret wellness fucking tiktok longevity hack.
It’s just making sensible use of a body that was designed to move.
And no, you don’t need to train like you’re preparing for the Olympics.
You don’t even need to particularly enjoy gyms.
But you do need to give your body opportunities to keep doing things.
Because if you gradually stop asking your body to perform certain tasks, there’s a good chance those tasks will become harder.
There is a fair bit of truth hidden inside the Use it or lose it although it’s not perfectly scientifically explained.
Strength Isn’t Just About Lifting Heavy Shit
I enjoy lifting heavy shit.
I own a gym.
I’m a trainer and coach and enjoy making people lift things up and put them down again.
The reason I think strength matters becomes increasingly important as we get older.
It’s not necessarily about having enormous muscles.
We get to a point where we are not worried too much about how good we look naked, we would rather our partners didn’t wretch when they saw us but it’s not about trying to attract someone based on our bodies anymore.
It’s not about impressing somebody with your deadlift.
It’s about being able to do things.
Get up from the floor.
Carry your shopping.
Walk up the stairs.
Play with your grandchildren.
Work in the garden.
Go on holiday and actually explore somewhere.
Pick something up without worrying whether you’ll get back up again.
Remain independent.
Strength gives you options.
And the more options we can preserve as we age, the more freedom we may have to keep doing the things we enjoy.
That’s what makes it valuable.
Not the number on the barbell.
The life it allows you to live outside the gym.
But This Isn’t Just About Your Body
Having a zest for life.
Because what’s the point of spending all our time trying to extend our lives if we forget to actually live them?
You can have a fantastic exercise routine.
Eat a balanced diet.
Take all the sensible steps to look after your health.
But if you’ve stopped being curious about the world, stopped trying new things, stopped connecting with people and stopped finding things that excite you…
We’re missing something pretty important.
Our minds need engagement too.
Something to think about.
Something to look forward to.
Something to learn.
People to talk to.
Experiences to share.
A reason to get out of bed that isn’t simply because the alarm’s gone off.
That might be learning an instrument.
Joining a walking group.
Volunteering.
Going to gigs.
Taking up a sport.
Gardening.
Travelling.
Joining a gym.
Meeting friends for coffee.
Or deciding at 70 that you’re going to try something you’ve never done before.
You don’t have to be brilliant at something to enjoy doing it.
And you certainly don’t have to be young.
Don’t Retire From Living
I don’t mean retiring from work.
If you’ve spent 40-odd years working and fancy spending your mornings doing whatever the fuck you like, you’ve probably earned it.
I’m talking about something different.
That gradual retirement from life itself.
When people stop making plans.
Stop taking opportunities.
Stop challenging themselves.
Stop going places.
Stop saying yes.
And start assuming that the best bits are behind them.
Sometimes that happens because of circumstances we can’t control.
Illness.
Loss.
Financial pressures.
Caring responsibilities.
And those things deserve compassion, not a lecture about positive thinking.
But sometimes it happens because we’ve quietly accepted the idea that this is simply what older people do.
And I think we should challenge that.
You can get older without making your world smaller.
In fact, for some people, later life can be an opportunity to make it bigger.
New interests.
New friendships.
New challenges.
New experiences.
And a little less concern about what everybody else thinks.
The Mental Side Of Keeping Going
Physical activity isn’t only about muscles and cardiovascular fitness.
It can also support mental wellbeing.
And the social side of exercise can be just as important as the physical side.
I see that at The Den.
People turn up to train.
But they also turn up to see people.
To have a laugh.
To talk absolute bollocks for an hour.
To be part of something.
Sometimes the workout is the reason they came through the door.
Sometimes the people are the reason they keep coming back.
And that’s worth recognising.
Because loneliness and social isolation can become significant challenges as people get older.
Having somewhere to go, people who know you and something to participate in can make a meaningful difference.
Not everybody needs a gym for that.
But everybody deserves opportunities for connection and belonging.
Stop Comparing Yourself To Who You Were At 25
You’re not necessarily going to be able to do everything you did when you were younger.
And that’s fine.
This is something I personally fight with all the time.
You might run slower.
Lift less.
Need longer to recover.
Have to train differently.
Work around an injury.
And occasionally make noises when getting off the sofa that sound like somebody starting a knackered diesel engine.
Welcome to the club.
But why are we measuring the value of what we can do today against what we could do decades ago?
Perhaps you can’t run the 10K time you ran at 30.
But you can still run a 10K at 70.
That’s fucking brilliant.
Perhaps you can’t lift what you lifted at 40.
But you’re still lifting at 75.
Fucking Brilliant.
Perhaps you’ve never exercised before and you’ve just started strength training at 65.
Also fucking brilliant.
Progress doesn’t always mean beating your younger self.
Sometimes it means maintaining something.
Sometimes it means regaining something.
Sometimes it means adapting.
And sometimes it means having the confidence to begin something completely new.
We need to stop treating every change in physical ability as evidence that life is going downhill.
You Don’t Need To Become A Longevity Obsessive
Apparently, we now need to optimise every aspect of ageing.
Biological-age tests.
Longevity supplements.
Anti-ageing protocols.
Cold plunges.
Red-light therapy.
Sleep scores.
Expensive powders.
And a daily routine that requires approximately 17 hours and the disposable income of a minor royal.
All supposedly in pursuit of living longer.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve your health.
But I’d argue there’s a danger of becoming so obsessed with extending life that you forget to enjoy the one you’re living.
You don’t need to turn ageing into another full-time job.
Start with the basics.
Move regularly.
Build strength.
Eat reasonably well.
Get sufficient sleep.
Stay connected to people.
Keep learning.
Find things you enjoy.
Seek appropriate help when you need it.
And give yourself something to look forward to.
None of that guarantees a long, healthy life.
But it can improve your chances of maintaining health, function and quality of life along the way.
And you can still have a fucking biscuit.
What Does Growing Older Well Actually Look Like?
I don’t think there’s one answer.
For one person, it might mean completing a marathon at 65.
For somebody else, it’s being able to walk to the shops independently.
For another, it’s playing with their grandchildren.
Travelling.
Dancing.
Gardening.
Going to the pub.
Learning something new.
Or simply feeling confident enough to get out and enjoy their day.
All of those things matter.
And none of them needs to look impressive on Instagram.
Healthy ageing isn’t a competition.
It’s about maintaining as much freedom, independence, connection and enjoyment as your circumstances allow.
And sometimes that means pushing yourself.
Sometimes it means adapting.
Sometimes it means accepting help.
All three can be part of living well.
If We’re Lucky, We Get To Grow Old
We don’t know how many years we’re going to get.
Nobody does.
And we can’t control everything that happens during them.
But while we’re here, I think we owe it to ourselves to keep participating.
Keep moving where we can.
Keep learning.
Keep laughing.
Keep trying things.
Keep finding reasons to get up in the morning.
Not because ageing is something we have to fight.
Not because getting older is a failure.
And certainly not because we need to spend a fortune trying to look 25 again.
But because being alive is something worth making the most of.
I don’t want to spend the years ahead simply counting the things I can no longer do.
I want to keep discovering what I still can.
And perhaps find a few new things along the way. Last year I learnt how to fire eat, this year I learnt how to body pierce, it’s about going fuck it, I like it lets do it.
Because if we’re lucky, we get to grow older.
That’s the privilege.
What we do with the opportunities those years give us is where things get interesting.
So don’t just add years to your life.
Give those years something worth getting out of bed for.
